Thursday, September 6, 2012

Magic Among the Mormons

The Magic of the Rockies
Many religions have a fear of magicians and their craft, sometimes branding our tricks and illusions as "works of the devil." However, I was born and baptized into the Mormon religion myself. This isn't really evident to anyone who knows me personally as I am not exactly shy anymore about being an Atheist. But I can say one thing about the Church of Ladder Day Saints (Mormons) which I have learned to appreciate, that is, that they do have a love for the performing arts and magic, to them, is a performing art. So when I added a visit to Logan Utah on my journey, I really didn't know what to expect but I knew that if I kept quiet about my Vegas trip, that I'd probably survive the trip.

The drive into Logan is the first taste of that beautiful mountainous country which surrounds Utah and those other Rocky Mountain States through which I would travel over the next week. Coming through the mountain passes and over into the Logan valley is breathtaking to say the least. It was a beautiful sunny morning, and the air was as clean as a Mormon comedian. Invigorated as I was, I was a little anxious when I headed into Logan. I was meeting and staying with a magician whom I had respected and admired for years, yet we didn't know each other well. His name is Richard Hatch, but he began going by "Dick" ever since his name was associated with the controversial contestant on the show "Survivor" of the same name.  I didn't know what to expect from Dick Hatch, but I had begun to wonder if I was going to stay in a Mormon household. If so, I'd have to be sure and curb my New York vernacular where, the "F-bomb" is the most often used verb, adjective and noun in the English language. I'd have to not discuss my religious views, and of course worst of all it meant, "no martinis" for me. But I probably needed a martini break anyway.
Magician, Dick Hatch
I first knew of Dick Hatch, from my magic days in Houston. He was a full time pro working the local venues at the time. Dick was the consummate magician. If you look up "magician" in the dictionary I'm sure there must be a picture of him included in the definition somewhere. He is one of those magicians which I could easily pick out of a crowd. He has an air of mystical confidence about him. He has a very professorial look and demeanor. He always seemed to have a very class act, even back in the day, especially compared to my "slightly" risque material.

 Dick is an expert in the classics of magic, like the linking rings and the cups and balls. Take a minute to enjoy a video of him doing the classic cups and balls. You can't help but be amazed by his sleight of hand and the way the balls vanish. I've been doing this stuff a long time you know, and I am in awe when I see him vanish those little balls with such ease.

Dick had invited invited me to come visit him in Utah before I'd begun my magic life trip, so when I was coming within a hundred miles of his domain, I decided I'd ask him if he'd be up for a visit. And as fortune would have it, his wife was out of town and he was even performing at the time I was there and he was more than happy to let me flop in his guest room.

Thatcher-Young Mansion
When I pulled up to the location where Dick had his magic school, I almost had my Mormon suspicions confirmed. He was working in a beautiful old Victorian home. This beautiful restored home is the Thatcher-Young Mansion built in 1878 by George W. Thatcher and his wife, Eunice Caroline (Luna) Young Thatcher, a daughter of Brigham Young. Brigham Young actually used to stay there. I felt at home from the moment I set foot inside. Not because of Brigham Young was a father of the Mormon Church, but the guy had so many women in his life, 55 women which were "sealed" to him, that I almost felt a strange admiration, a sort of Lions, Tigers, and Bears, OMG,... kinship.

Dick performs an afternoon show
Now this once den of polygamy, houses a photography studio, magic, and music studio. Up the narrow and quickly rising stairs into the small room, which is the magician's lair, lies the Hatch Academy of Music and Magic. And I got to witness the magical properties which the building itself possesses. Seems that there is a place where gravity seems to have lost it's pull. Dick demonstrated this to a couple of kids who dropped in for a visit.


Right behind this wonderful home lies an amazing theater for the performing arts. Dick was kind enough to take me on a tour of all of the theater facilities. And it amazes me the amount of theater which this small town about 50,000 people, of Logan Utah is able to support. But Mormons, then again, who don't support polygamy anymore, do support the arts. But much to my surprise and fortune, turned out that Dick, like myself was no longer a practicing Mormon. I had been fooled by the illusion, just like so many laymen are by magic, into thinking that a magician living in Utah, working in a former home of Brigham Young, whose magic seemed clean cut, would of course be a Mormon himself. But then, this is my magic life.  So we managed to take a trip to a local pub. And as fate would have it, the pub was owned by a magician himself, and we performed magic for one another all evening while drinking some very large beers. 





Tuesday, July 31, 2012

More Than Magic in The Magic Valley

Famous for base-jumping, Perrine Bridge
When I have to tell someone where I "grew up" it's usually something about "all over the western states." However I like to say that my real roots took hold in a place called The Magic Valley, Idaho. It is where I spent most of my High School years at Twin Falls High, it is where I first printed a business card that said "magician" on it. Twin Falls is actually famous for a few things (besides me of course), first it is one of the only  great bridges in the country that allows base jumpers to jump off. I met a guy in South Beach one time who told me he was parachute instructor, and I asked him if he'd ever been to Twin Falls, Idaho and jumped off the Perrine Bridge. He lit right up and said, "How do you know about the Perrine?" He told me that amongst base jumpers that it was known around the world. For me it was always a place where I fantasized hanging from the middle and doing my strait jacket escape.

Famous place to make out as a teenager living in Idaho.
Another reason to visit Twin Falls, is the falls. Just outside of town on the Snake River is a beautiful, amazing, if not magical waterfalls called Shoshone Falls. It was near here that I had my first make-out session, as did most of the people who went to high school in Twin. My first girlfriend and I used to skinny dip in the pools near the falls. There are a few dirt roads into hidden lakes and camp sites that made a great place for a 17 year old to take a girl to watch the stars. I won't name names. But you know who you are.

Evel Knievel's Sky Cycle
And those of you who really know trivia, know that Twin Falls and the Snake River Canon was where Evil Knievel made his famous rocket cycle attempt to jump the canyon and failed. As a young teen, I actually got to see that jump up close and personal, because my best friend knew the family that owned the land, and we actually hid under some tarps in the back of his pickup truck to get past the gate without paying. Oh I was so wild as a teen.. ha! I took a few pictures that day and felt the crowd surge forward as he went into the canyon. I remember thinking, "people are going to die" as the chain link fences which kept people back from the canyon ridge were pushed over.

I actually met Knievel years later in Houston and told him that I sneaked in to his jump. First thing he said, was, "well that was a party wasn't it." Then he asked me to buy his video and said we're even.

There Randy.. Are you satisfied? LOL
When ever I go back to Twin, it is a trip down memory lane for me. And it becomes mostly about seeing those people I've known over the years. Mostly now I love to see which old friends have recently become single, well, it is. but I really do enjoy visiting old friends and of course meeting new ones. Twin Falls had both for me. I met some old high school buddies and of course old girlfriends. One of the great guys I know, Randy Givens wanted me to put his picture in here. What an egomaniac, right? LOL

The most refreshing and surprising meeting of the trip was a girl named Jana. Jana had become my friend on Facebook and told me she was from Twin. So when she said, "I'd love to meet you" I was more than happy to see if we could meet.

One of the most interesting aspects of this situation was my contacting her and setting up a meeting. You see, Jana wrote to me on Facebook, and gave me her number, but she also told me that she had been in an accident years ago which left her with a brain injury which impaired her mobility and made it extremely difficult to speak. She asked me if I knew how to sign. Unfortunately that isn't one of my talents. So I told her that we'd make it happen, and if she couldn't speak, then she'd just have to listen to me talk or we'd just have to hug a lot. She gave me her number and I called her up. I admit speaking with someone who "can't talk" on the phone is somewhat difficult. Jana does great at making herself understood, even on the phone. But after a struggle of trying to understand, I decided to tell her, "OK you just give me yes and no answers and I'll ask questions." So I asked her if she would meet me at the weekly "Music on Main" where a local band always plays music on Wednesday evenings. Jana and I had a lot of fun and of course we made quite a pair dancing. Thanks Jana for putting yourself out there and living a magic life!

The Rhinestone Roper
But I needed to find a magician there and unfortunately I didn't know of any other regular magicians in Twin Falls, Idaho. But I did know someone famous who did tricks. Or rather his horses did tricks.

The Rhinestone Roper and Ace Starry
One of the truly amazing magic life magicians I know is a man named Dan Mink. Dan and I attended the College of Southern Idaho together and had performed together in theater productions while attending the Junior College. Dan and I became good friends back then. But then, I went on to become a magician bum, and Dan decided to do something worthwhile with his life, he became a lawyer.

That was until years later when he decided that he was going to chuck his law career and become a trick roper, a real life Bronco Billy. He decided to actually follow his dream and create his own wild west show. He is now known as the Rhinestone Roper. Dan tours the country performing his amazing act and showing off his amazing skills and amazing trick horses.

Dan took me out to his place and showed me the "ropes." Actually he showed me his truck and trailer, that he had built to haul his show and horse. Dan is an amazing guy and has had some really wonderfully magical moments in his life.

You can see the knife caught mid throw between the trees.
One of which was his being on America's Got Talent performing his knife throwing act. If you find this on YouTube, it is really worth a watch. Dan actually took me over to where he practices throwing his knives and gave me a lesson. Believe me I really can't throw anything, but Dan had me sticking the knives in just a few minutes. Dan and I talked about life and it's trials and tribulations. One of which was how America's Got Talent set him and his horse up for failure just so they could make more drama for the program. When Dan decided to use his horse in the act, he told them that they needed to have no loud noise and that the lights couldn't be so bright in the eyes of his horse. He told them this and they told him, they'd make sure the horse had the proper working conditions. So instead of doing that, the producers probably thought they'd get the horse to buck and go out of control if they simply upped the music and lights trying to scare it. So that was what they did. Instead of creating the drama of a horse gone wild, the horse was just not able to perform his tricks. He pretty much didn't do anything. So by trying to create drama they just ruined the bit.

But Dan has a positive attitude and is currently looking for a permanent venue for his show. I'm sure he'll find one, and keep living his magic life. This was magic like no other on my trip.. Thanks Dan.

On with the magic.. next stop Logan Utah with magician Dick Hatch.









Thursday, July 26, 2012

Magic Life in Boise

Sara the bartender at Humpin' Hanna's
Boise, Idaho is a wickedly, wonderful, and wondrous city. It is one of my favorite magical places, I find it and Austin, Texas surprisingly similar. Both are state capitols and have the political fixtures which go along with being such. Both have a river running through them and a well enjoyed green belt along the river. They both also have a major university (of which I attended, both) and if you think about it, one is the Broncos, whose mascot is a horse, and University of Texas has a longhorn as their mascot, so in other words, one is full of bull and the other is just B.S. (Boise State). I really had to reach for that one folks. But really, besides reaching for the obvious jokes, I love both schools and follow both football teams with a passion.

They both have a love for country music, and both seem to have more than their fair share of beer drinking cowboys. But my favorite similarity is the many beautiful, blonde, cowgirls. Most of those girls seem to share something in common too. They all seem to share the same shortage of cloth in their skirts and buttons on their blouses. I've never seen so many mini skirts in one place as I did when I sat down to dinner in downtown Boise and that includes Vegas, but we're not going there again.

I spent a few days staying with relatives there in Boise. I have an older brother and his wife, Kirk and Pam,  my niece Melissa and her husband Shawn, and their little boy Coop and my nephew, Colin.( I won't even mention my cousin Ron and his wife, Carla and their son, Bryon and his wife Melissa, cause he never reads this, he just always wants to see some magic.) The first evening they shared with me, a surprising statistic. According to Shawn, Boise has a "butt-load" of MILFS. (I don't even know that that means.) We'll discuss that in more detail later when I tell you about my night out on the town.

My nephew, Coop is such an amazing little guy. I think he should have his own show. And that show should be called "Cooper Love's His Uncle Ace Who Took Him To See The Trains Best ." But I since I haven't asked permission to show his picture, here is one of me at the Boise train station. And I wore this shirt to solidify the now well known fact that I am indeed the megalomaniacal narcissist you believe me to be. Someone recently gave me the definition of "narcissist" for my own enlightenment on Facebook. Of well if the shoe fits...

Wow! I don't remember looking that dorky.
Boise was where I really started my own career in magic. When I attended Boise State University to get my degree in theater back in the... well a while back, I worked at my first magic shop, a place called "Tricks and Trash," or something like that. I got my first regular magician's job as what we call a "table hopper" in the business, a guy who does magic in a restaurant. For me it was the Grizzly Bear Pizza parlor. And I hooked up with another theater student, a girl named Wendy, to perform corporate gigs and some school shows as "The Wiz and Wendy." We'd do a standard magic show with a few doves, linking rings and such. Wendy was my girlfriend, which you may have figured is a standard among magician's and their assistants. If they don't start with a romantic involvement, they eventually have one. (think about that one Linda..hehehe, someday it could happen.)  

I was also elected president of our own magician's group, the Idaho Magic Guild. I remember running meetings in a pizza parlor of about 14 or 15 magicians who would meet once a month, share tricks, compete against one another for trophies all the while drinking beer. Several lifetime professional magicians sprang from this group.

While I there in Boise, I was sitting in Starbucks, looking at my Facebook page and suddenly a notice appeared on my wall, I don't know why, maybe because I was saying the word "magic" so much in my postings. I don't really know how those things work, but there was a notice that there was a meeting of a Treasure Valley Magician's Group, there in a pizza parlor, on a night which I would be in Boise. So I knew that I just had to go and see what the state of magician's meetings had become in Boise years after my own stint as a magician's group leader.

Work-a-day Magician, Kipp Sherry in Boise
I discovered a very small, but still enthusiastic group of about half-dozen semi-pro and amateur magicians. There was only one young boy in the group, who was there to learn magic the old fashioned way (from actual magicians.) If this was a typical meeting, which I have no reason to believe otherwise, I'd say that magic may be in the decline in Boise, Idaho. Not because of the attendees lack of enthusiasm, but because of the lack of attendees. I do think that the old style, learning from other magician's is indeed dying, at least in Boise.

The meetings were in fact being run by their President, a magician whom I came to Boise to interview. His name is Kipp Sherry. Kipp is Boise's main working magician whom I've known for a few years. He is what I call a work-a-day magician, a pro who makes his living doing mostly birthday parties and corporate dinners. He advertises his business on his pick up truck and works hard to make a living at magic. There are a few magicians in Boise and a city of that size can only support a couple pros at most, and making a living at magic can only be achieved with hard work. To quote one of my faves, Ted Turner of CNN fame, "Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell and advertise." Kipp is one of those magicians who makes a living at it because he "works like hell and advertises."

I talked with Kipp about a lot of things in his life and about the current state of magic. He is one of the magicians who believes that magic is undergoing and change, and "people don't like change."

Kipp says that the new breed of magicians are learning from each other still, but are using chat rooms and Skype to actually teach each other the moves. However anyone who has ever been in an online chat room will tell you that people behind an avatar often become brazen because of their anonymity. Thus things can get a little "weird" as he told me. And he is concerned that magicians of today aren't learning how to "entertain" they are learning the moves, but not the concepts which make it entertaining. "Anybody can go out and get a packet trick and learn a packet trick." A packet trick is another term us magicians use for a few cards which usually are sold in an envelope, along with instructions, and do one trick, as apposed to a deck of cards. Because packet tricks usually come with a "patter" (the spoken routine) when most young magician's do a packet trick they all use the exact same wording along with it. Thus, if a packet trick becomes popular, you'll see ten magician's in the same town doing the same trick, saying exactly the same thing. Many magicians do packet tricks and do them well. I have nothing against these tricks, as I, for one, made a reputation for myself performing a simple packet trick. One that I and only and handful of magicians in the world new at the time. I'll share it for you here:


See a packet of cards can be presented in a way in which it is sleightly entertaining, (a play on words,) however you can tell that the patter to this trick can't really be varied much. Of course I added my own start and corny lines to it which I always do to a routine.

Kipp believes that you should be able to create your own magic as a magician. And so do I. Many magicians who actually work for a living scourer places like Home Depot or Michael's Hobby Shops to see if we can find something which can be made into an illusion. Kipp demonstrated something he created with a couple things he found at the lumber yard. A simple chain and a ring come together for a great little illusion. He performed it for me and told me a couple different patters which he uses.



But the real magic in Boise is found downtown on a Friday night. I told you I'd share what happened that night when I was out. Well I went to a place called Hannas in downtown Boise. There I met the cutest little bartender, Sara. When a magician meets a cute bartender who likes magic, it can only mean one thing to them... future assistant... no, it means do a trick which will end in them giving you a kiss. I just happened to have such a trick which of course I performed for the attractive Sara. In the end of the trick I usually bet two things of equal value, a kiss on the cheek from them, against my car or house. Of course they believe they will win because it's an obvious bet, but magic prevails and they are humiliated into a "kiss on the cheek." And of course when I do receive my "kiss on the cheek" I quickly turn and give them a peck on the lips.. It's all in good fun, and it makes for a little humor along the way and even sometimes it leads to a new assistant.

However when I went to get the kiss on the cheek from Sara, she just plants one right on my mouth and completely ruins the entire routine. Can you believe that? Must have been that Axe body wash I used or something. But the night was still young. I asked her what time she got off. At which time she decided to inform me that her boyfriend was picking her up at 2:30.

Sara had made my drinks a little stiff.. yes I said "drinks." And since she wasn't open for breakfast, I asked if there were a late night restaurant where I could go have some breakfast and sober up before driving home. She smiled and sent me on to a place called "Solid" just a stone's throw away, telling me it was where all the late night people would gather for a "last chance." It sounded like fun.

So I wandered over to  this late night happening and, much to my chagrin, there weren't but a few people hanging around inside, but I was there just to have something to eat anyway. So I was sitting alone at the bar eating their version of eggs Benedict, when out of no where, this cute little blond wearing a mini skirt and two few buttons on her blouse leans onto my shoulders from behind me. First I'm startled, but then I see how cute she is and I'm pleasantly surprised.

"Excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt your meal," she says coquettishly, "do you know where the bathroom is?"

She is a little tipsy, I can tell, and I have no idea where the bathroom is, but I put my arm around her, since hers is now around me, and say to her, "honey, I'll help you find it."

I find a waiter and ask him for directions. He gives me some convoluted instructions and I realize that the bathroom isn't really that easy to find, but I would be able to get her there. So I walk this girl through a labyrinth, to the ladies room door. She turns, wraps her arms around my neck, and plants a very sensual kiss on me. "Thank you so much," she says, pulling me towards the door. And I don't even know her name.. again, is it the Axe Body Wash or what?

Rather than a trip to the ladies room, I tell her, "you're welcome." And I leave her and go back to my eggs like a good boy. Well, a few chews and swallows later, she's back.

"Sorry to interrupt you again, but how am I going to get in touch with you . I have no idea how to contact you," she says.

"Well I can give you my cell," I said, "I just need to get something to write it on."

She say's to the bartender, "do you have a pen and paper?"

He hands her a pen and dinner ticket to write on. She doesn't hand it to me, instead she writes her name, and phone number on it and says, "Call me tomorrow, I've got to go, my boyfriend is in the other room waiting, and he is probably wondering where I am."

Women... they are the magic, the mystery...and what is a MILF anyway? ;-0


Friday, July 20, 2012

Escape to "Big Al Catraz"

One of the most prominent sights in San Francisco looms in the distance across the bay. Alcatraz island rises out of the water as a monument to the inescapable. There is a question to this day as to the validity of its stated record saying that during its 29 years as a penitentiary, no prisoner had successfully escaped. It is known that 36 prisoners attempted, two men trying twice; 23 were caught, six were shot and killed, two drowned, and five are listed as presumed drowned. The question as to the "presumed" drowned became one of the most famous escape movies of all time, "Escape From Alcatraz" staring Clint Eastwood.

But probably the most cheesy use of this as a backdrop for an escape was done by David Copperfield. This takes me back, back to a time when magic was... well... cheesier than a warm brie wrapped in a wine port cheddar..mmm so tasty.



Escape has been a part of my life for many years. As a young magician many of us read of Houdini and realize the impact escape can have upon an audience. I don't really know why audiences like to watch a person free themselves from bonds, prison cells, etc. But they do enjoy a good escape performance when it is done with the proper flair and death defiance.

I made a small undeserved reputation as an escape artist when I performed my strait jacket escape dangling by the ankles 300 feet in the air from a burning rope. I've even performed an underwater handcuff escape. And I was at one time attempting an underwater strait jacket escape which resulted of my being pulled from a pool and given mouth to mouth resuscitation. And now you know why I wasn't that famous as an escape artist. 

Big Al Catraz performs at pier 39 in San Francisco
Many magicians have an escape or even two in their repertoire. And a magician who goes by the name of "Big Al Catraz" was no different. As I walked to the back of the Pier 39 shops, there was a very large crowd looking upon a small outdoor stage.There tied to a chair, was a working magician in all his cheesy magic show glory performing a comedy escape for the tourist crowd and an audience filled with children screaming with delight. It was a classic performance of an often performed escape. I hadn't seen him actually get tied up, but there he was dancing a rendition of that famous of musical numbers "The Hokey Pokey." It certainly made and interesting addition to his chair tie escape.


Because of Al's "bigness" it made the performance even better. There is something about a big guy doing the "hokey pokey" while tied up to a chair. Of course he eventually falls over and threatened to fall off the stage onto the kids who were at one time clamoring to be in the show. They of course backed up rather quickly when he tumbled.


And the show wouldn't have been complete without him taking his bow to the crowd and his pants dropping to the floor revealing his boxer shorts. I believe that the most successful escapes can be made even better by adding corn ball cheese to them. Maybe this is what made Copperfield so famous. But I'm not sure he was trying.

I had the pleasure of chatting with Al for a while after his performance. I wanted to find out more about him than meets the stage floor. So we talked about the creation of his character of "Big Al" and how it came about. One thing that differentiates Al from other magicians is that he studied acting and was an actor before he became a magician. This gives him a great background with which to derive his character. When he first decided to become a "pro" magician, he knew he wanted something iconic to be associated with San Francisco.

He actually thought of the name when he was driving by a "Big Al's Clothing" store. We talked about how lucky he was to have a permanent stage show. And we talked about a couple of interesting things, one of which was the "DEATH OF MAGIC." Al hasn't been a magician for that long, only ten years. I think that may have shaped his thinking. You see Al doesn't believe that magic is dead at all. In fact he thinks it is thriving. He sees the Internet as promoting and distributing magic to young people, not ruining it's potential.

"The kids who are watching magic on the Internet are absorbing information quicker, they are taking the principles which they learn and creating new ways to use them, better than ever before... I think magic is going to live on, but it is going to change. And people don't like change."

Worries about and early death because of his weight.
He does think that kids posting the secrets to the tricks they learn is a problem, but he has chosen to ignore the magician doomsday preachers and naysayers who say that magic is in a decline. (Of course it is a lot easier for a guy who has an audience every day in a tourist venue such as he does.) And believe me he is lucky to be there and he knows it. Most magicians have to work everyday to find a paying gig. So lucky are the guys who work at Theme Parks, or tourist traps such as Pier 39. But he hasn't seen or felt the decline as many magicians struggling to get a paying gig have. And it would follow of course that he wouldn't fear the death of magic.

He may not have been afraid of the death of magic, but this big guy did express a fear of his own death. He confided in me that he has been concerned for his weight and health. Like all of us, magicians are just people too. I know that is an astonishing revelation, and as such, we worry about things like weight and dieing before our time. It seems that Al's father died when he was too young and Al told me he worries that he too will suffer the same fate. But he is doing something about it. Al has been working at losing "big" from his show through a newly adopted diet and workout. Of course when the subject turned to that I had to tell him about Lions, Tigers, and Bears OMG! my web page and future book for guys in the midst of a midlife crisis.

Of course how could we turn to a discussion of LTBOMG without a workout picture for all of you overweight guys with a lowering libido. (not saying Al had a lowering libido just for the record) So before I go on to my next blogging opportunity, I'll leave you with a picture of Brittnay doing one of her workout poses. I hope this is motivational to you and your lowering libido, LOL. I know it always motivates me.

Well on to Reno then Boise... keep living the magic!

Monday, July 16, 2012

What Really Happened or Not in Vegas (Rated X)

THIS STORY MAY OR MAY NOT BE ENTIRELY FICTION. USE YOUR OWN JUDGEMENT. 

Okay, I'm going to warn you all right now. If you don't want to hear a tale of pure debauchery, (in which the names will be changed to protect the guilty) then please don't read on. However, I've decided that I should include some of the more than mundane events which have graced my life, during this magical life journey. Maybe I'll even spice them up so they sound better than they actually were to increase my readership. So please DON'T READ THIS IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY VILE LANGUAGE, DIRTY TALK, AND/OR NUDE IMAGES (in your mind)

A foretelling of the future? Not mine, but maybe Deuce's
Meeting "Zach" Galifianakis must have been some secret warning signal that the universe was sending me. If I were to read it again, more closely this time, it would probably be saying, "Take it easy on the free drinks, Stupid!"

So, the truth is when I told you that I couldn't actually remember my nights in Vegas, I was only partially telling the truth. As it so happens, I did begin to remember the lurid details as the days wore on, and the fog began to clear. Also,  I was reminded by those participating in my two monumental nights of decadence and debauchery of my less than clever drunkenness.

Oh you wicked jester, beckoning me.
First lets begin with the fortunate synchronicity of circumstance which unbelievably led me to that city of sin in the Nevada desert. You see, when I first set up my map for the journey I didn't include Las Vegas. Afterall who would ever think to interview a magician in  Vegas? ... far too easy. So I was going to drive from Albuquerque to Phoenix, and from there on to Los Angeles. But fate wanted me to land in Vegas. And as it so happened, I had made plans to stay with my good friend Jack and his wife Wendy, (oh wait I mean, Fred and his wife Ethel.).yeah that's the ticket... in LA. But as this journey is taking twists and turns along the way, that just didn't pan out the way I'd planned. (Oh wait, I mean my good friend "Deuce" planned.) First, Deuce added a trip to Key West, then Deuce added a stop in Orlando, then an extra day in Jacksonville Beach, and a couple of extra unplanned days in Wichita and Oklahoma City.

So when Deuce called my friend, erh.. Fred and told him he'd be in LA on Friday. Fred said, "well that's great, but we won't be there."

"Crap!" I thought. (oops I meant Deuce thought. )

So Deuce had an epiphany. Since Fred and Ethel weren't going to be in LA, he'd just re-route his trip and instead of going through Phoenix, he'd just take a couple days and do Las Vegas. After all, you can throw a deck of cards into the air in Vegas and chances are ten to one that you'll hit a magician. So Vegas it was!!! Whooop.

YOUR FINAL WARNING, DO NOT PROCEED IF YOU WANT TO KEEP A HIGH OPINION OF ANYONE INVOLVED

Deuce found a magician to interview from a friend of his who lives in Vegas, and decided to book the Mirage because that was where this magician was performing. Deuce had to rush there in order to get to see this amazing lounge show. Of course there were drinks involved because.. well Deuce is a drinker, and it's Vegas. Unfortunately Deuce had made the bartender his friend early on because, well, he's just such a damn likeable guy, and so his bar tender friend hammered him with VODKA, soda, and splash of cran. Notice the word "vodka" is in all caps. Four of these bad boys and by the time Deuce was done watching the show, he was already blotto. So after a few dribbling discussions with a magician or two, Deuce decided he would go to the casino and play some slots and craps. I know, gambling and drinking, can only lead to bad things. Or rather, my good friend Duece knows that.

So Deuce decided that he'd do what I usually do in Vegas and set his loss limits to $300. If I lose $300 then I'll put my tail between my legs and go home. So if he lost, Deuce would put his tail between his legs and head back to the hotel room and watch a porno movie for about $12. So the total loss comes to about $312.

YOUR ABSOLUTE FINAL WARNING - AND I'M NOT KIDDING HERE.

For some unknown reason Deuce always seems to be lucky when it comes to gambling. Maybe because the universe is somehow making up for his bad luck in other areas of life, but somehow he is almost always ahead in the games of chance. There doesn't seem to be a time when he loses, or at least loses big. Well Deuce won a small amount on the craps table after playing for about an hour, and he was $60 ahead. 

Then it was off to the wheel of fortune machines because, he could get free drinks just by sitting there pulling the lever. Lord knows he could still see, so he must need more drinks. But Deuce had a theory, which is hard to imagine in his drunken stupor. His theory was that if he only bet a dollar on a wheel of fortune for five pulls after any win, that he would beat the house odds. So he played on. Nothing could deter him as he watched his fortune grow over the hours. Then he watched it deplete, then grow, then deplete. However slowly he was gaining. So he decide that he'd cash out after every $100 gain and put that in his pocket. At the end of the evening he was feeling pretty good. He had several hundred dollar bills now tucked tightly in his pocket. 

So, off to the bar for an appetizer and a night cap (as if he needed one)  before he went to his room to watch his $12 movie. As he drank a martini, he attempted his best moves on a couple of the young ladies there at the bar, he bought them a drink, showed them a card trick, and of course after finishing it, they promptly left for another club without him. 

It was at that moment, that Deuce decided to call it a night. He paid his tab, with cash from his wallet, and began to walk out of the bar. He looked across the way and there sat a beautiful woman in a silky, blue blouse, with dark black hair,  striking, beautiful, blue eyes and moist ruby red lips. Those eyes were fixed on Deuce as he walked around the bar and out the door. It was as if those eyes were some sort of magical tractor beam, and they locked on to poor Deuce and he was unable to leave, frozen in his tracks as his eyes met those of the beautiful young woman now staring him down from her seat across the bar. 

He turned and as if memorized by her very beauty, he made his way back into the bar and almost hypnotized his way into to the stool next to her.  As he found himself sitting there, she put her hand on his knee and said, "Why don't you buy me a drink?" 

YOUR REALLY, ABSOLUTE, FINAL WARNING.

Deuce did buy her a drink and then eventually got around to a little chit chat. Her name was Mercedes, of course it was, probably because as she said, "she's an impressive ride."

Deuce was never too sharp about these type of transactions, but he had a suspicion about this one and eventually said, "So how much?" 

"A thousand dollars, for the ride of your life, baby." 

Deuce almost choked with a spew of his drink, and an out loud laugh. "You've got to be kidding," he said. "not that you're not amazingly beautiful, incredibly sexy, but hey,  I didn't fall off the turnip truck this morning. Where do you think I'm from, Idaho?" 

"So you didn't win tonight I take it?" asked Mercedes

"No, on the contrary I did win," he replied. "I'll tell you what I'll do," he said. "Since this is Vegas, are you a gambler?" 

"I don't know. Why?" she answered intrigued just a little. 

"I'll tell you that I know I have more than a hundred dollars in my wallet and that I was a winner tonight," he said, "I really don't know how much I have there, but I'll give you whatever I have in my wallet, if you're a gambler, you might be a big winner." 

She tried to get him to tell her how much he had but he insisted that she gamble. Well it was getting late and the price always goes downward as the hour gets later. Not that Deuce would know that. 

So she said, "OK." 

All I can say is that Deuce had $257 in his wallet that night. And after the night was over he had $7 in his wallet, which Mercedes was kind enough to leave for his coffee at Starbucks. You see just like me Deuce has to have Starbucks coffee and write his blog. However, what Mercedes didn't know was that a good gambler like Deuce always stuffs a few hundreds in his pocket as he plays to keep from spending them, $400 to be exact.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Waking up around noon, Deuce went out to photograph some of the town for his blog with the love of his life, his trusty Canon 30D digital 35 milometer camera.
As fateful as the string of sevens he threw at the craps table that morning, things were going to get amazing and strange.When he posted to Facebook that he had arrived in Vegas, and was staying at the Mirage, he got a call that changed everything. It was my good buddy, and his, Fred.

"You Son-of-a-bitch, Ace, (oops I mean "Deuce") are you in Vegas?" he asked.

"Why yes, Fred, you 'ol bastard," Deuce replied.

"You know why Ethel and I aren't at home in LA?"

"No"

"Because we are in staying in Vegas, believe it or not, across the street from your hotel at the Venetian. So why don't you meet us for dinner?"

"NO WAY!!!!! Too effen funny. I'm on MY WAY!!!"

Now Fred and Ethel are always a ton of fun, so Deuce met them and they bought him an amazing, dinner. Then Fred and Deuce decided to go to a bar and see what trouble they could get into. Fred told Deuce that they'd play the video poker at the bar until he made $500 then he'd take them to the world's largest strip club for a little family entertainment. 

The night wore on as they watched the total get up near $500 on the winnings line, but never get over it. Just when he was about to give up, Fred hits the four aces which pays $400 and BAM! They had $800 in tittie bar money. 

So the jumped up, high fives and danced out the doors to find a taxi. A quick cab ride and they were walking into the world's largest strip club, "Sapphires."A place beyond your wildest fantasies a club, the size of a football stadium with multiple floors of a thousand topless gyrating girls in g-strings.

After checking in and a cover charge, two girls grabbed Deuce by the arms and began to drag him off. "Wait a minute girls, I just want to get a drink, with my buddy." 

"Don't worry we'll meet up with him later, we need to give you a tour of our club." 

So they dragged him off by the arms, coquettishly giggling as they did. Deuce was led down some hallways and found himself in a private room with red patent leather couches and maroon curtains draped by large golden cords. "Here sit," said one of the girls, "we can get a bottle of champagne and give you a private dance." 

"Wait a minute," asked Deuce, "how much is this going to cost?" 

"You can have the ultimate fantasy," she said, "for only $1000." 

Again, Deuce spewed a big laugh, "Why would I pay a thousand dollars for a fantasy, when I know for a fact you can get an amazing hooker here in Vegas for $250?"

"Some men prefer the fantasy," she said. 

Can you believe that, cause I can't. Some men prefer the fantasy as apposed to the real thing? Yeah I'm buying that, and neither did Deuce. So they reluctantly went back to the main floor where Fred was now seated alone.. yeah that's the ticket. 

Well, Deuce really had no liking for the two girls which seemed to be attached to him like a couple of barnacles with boobs. He finally just asked them, "Do you suppose you girls could just give me a break and let me drink a drink alone?" 

Well they huffed a little and then went to Fred's lap. Deuce, in the meantime was approached by the shooter girl, a good looking blond, with a gorgeous smile and beautiful brown eyes. Mr. cool himself, Deuce before long had the shooter girl, whom he didn't have to pay for a dance, sitting in his lap. Next thing you know, they were kissing like a couple of teenagers in heat. That damn Deuce needs to get a grip on his public displays of debauchery. But he no sooner was about to get her number, I think by way of reading the bumps on her chest, when that $1000 dancer girl, which he didn't like in the first place, proceded to push the cute shooter girl from his lap and proclaim, "She has to leave, your friend just bought you two dances from me." 

"But t t t...but.. but.." was all he could mutter as the shooter girl disappeared into the smoke filled room of bouncing bodacious boobs and butts. 

The obnoxious dancer now sat in his lap... for two songs and then suddenly Fred declares, "Deuce, we have to go, I've run out of money." 

"All right by me." Deuce said standing up. And then it got strange.

The rude dancer girl, grabbed Deuce's glasses and declared, "You owe me $200 for dances." 

"Hold on there, and give me those back," Deuce said sternly. 

"Not until you pay me," she replied in defiance. 

Whether it was some stroke of genius or out of shear blind panic, Deuce grabbed her by the wrist and yelled out at the top of his lungs, "HELP!!!! HELP!!!!"

The girl quickly stuck his glasses in his hands and when he let go of her she vanished much the same as the shooter girl into the smoke and mirrors.Then as the security guard comes up to find out about Deuce's girlish scream, Fred suddenly declares, "Those bitches stole my phone!" 

The bouncer was then shining his light all over the floor as the two drunken stumblers searched for the "lost" phone. Totally rejected, the two saturated compadres headed back to their prospective hotels. The desert sun was coming up, and it was miserably hot. Deuce was falling forward catching his feet under him, drunk as he headed back to his room. As he crossed Las Vegas boulevard to the Mirage, he was almost to the door when it dawned on him. "OH MY GOD!! I DON'T HAVE MY CAMERA!" 

His mind (what little was left of it) raced for an answer.. "Where the hell did he leave it." He recalled having it at the bar when he and Fred had won the $400 jackpot. Now it was full sun up as he dragged himself from bar to bar in search of his camera, he finally came to the bar where he thought it was to be found. Of course they were already vacuuming the floors and the chairs were upside down on the tables. The one person there, a janitor, was quick to say, we didn't find it, but you should check with security, they have a lost and found. 

So Deuce made his way to the lost and found almost beyond hope. He was starting to tear up over the loss of his $3000 camera, which he knew was crucial to his trip and filled with pictures for his blog. When the security guard told him, "sorry we don't have it." He burst into tears, saying in his drunken downturn to himself, "My life just sux." 

He dragged himself dejectedly back across the street, hot, still stumbling, tired as hell, completely worn out and now beginning to sweat the alcohol from the night before. As he walked up to the doorman the doorman looked and him and said, "Looks like somebody had a hell of a night." 

Deuce grumbled something back and somehow made it to the right floor. Walking down the hall he had never felt so awful in his life, so low, he was truly that drunk loser everyone has seen in Vegas. It was at that moment that he fell to his own lifetime low, as he spied a food cart, and there on it, a plate of macaronni and cheese, neatly set outside of the guest's room for the cleanup crew. 

"Hell they only ate a little of it." he thought to himself. And like the drunk degenerate he'd become he grabbed a handful of the tasty treat and shoved it in his mouth declaring "why the hell not," in his mind. 

The next thing he recalls was finding himself fully dressed laying on the bed staring at the clock radio which was now blaring a beep, beep, beep.

"Oh %$#@! it's 11:30. What time is checkout?" 

Deuce called down to the front desk, yes, and then paid the extra $39 late checkout fee. 

His next memory is waking up to a maid who was saying, "Oh so sorry, Senor. My apologies." and her scurrying out the door before he even realized he was completely naked. You see Deuce had gotten his clothes off this time, but still not made it back into the bed. 

He looked at the clock and it was now 3:00. His head was throbbing now, but his mind was beggining to clear. Images of the night were like old Polaroid pictures taking shape as he held them under his sweaty armpits. Then there it was on the floor, a piece of macaroni. 

He had a huge laugh for at that very moment he not only recalled eating the handful of macaroni, he realized... 

OMG!!! They check cameras before you go into a strip club.. 

And there in his wallet was a ticket, a receipt, for the love of his life, his Canon 30D camera. 

And now you know the story that is or isn't true about what really happened that night in Vegas.

Oh and Fred found his phone at that same bar where Deuce thought he'd left his camera. 



Thursday, July 12, 2012

Escape to San Francisco

As I took a picture from the window of my Jeep, a Hells Angel appears from nowhere.
It was difficult to leave Southern California behind with it's amazing people and beautiful beaches. Los Angeles is a city of angels (hells angels?)  and even more a city of kings. (think hockey.)

However, as I crossed the bridge into San Francisco, I marveled at the magical  mysteries in front of me. It is a city like no other, a bay often clouded in mysterious mist, with a history as colorful and rich as the gold which filled the leather satchels of the forty-niners during the gold rush. To this day the song still rings out "open up those golden gate, California here I come."

The city by the bay has a flavor (mostly Chinese) and temperature all its own. It's often said, "the coldest winter I ever spent was the summer I spent in San Francisco." But even after purchasing a sweatshirt because of an unexpected temperature on July fourth, San Francisco is an easy place with which to fall in love. I've often felt as I do now that, "I left my heart ... in San Francisco." It is beautiful, has amazing food, but I'm sure that living in San Francisco must have it's ups and downs (that's a joke.) I once walked up and down the entire city from downtown to the bay. If you don't have good shoes, and strong legs, take the trolly car.

When I got to San Fran I had two wonderful friends to stay with, Mike and Lisa. Lisa reminded me that we have a tradition for spending the 4th of July together. I'm not sure she recalls our very first, but many years ago, 1998 to be exact,  we were out with her and her boyfriend on 4th of July in Martha's Vineyard, and I was friends with her boyfriend and really didn't know her all that well. After a night of drinks and fun, I told her and my wife at the time, that we needed to go home. She told me, "A, it isn't happening, and 2, you're a f%$#ing @#!hole" So the next day I brought it up jokingly and she was embarrassed about the incident. So in order to defuse any tension, I told her that now because of that, we were going to be friends for life. I figured we had to be friends because she had my number, and it was the number: "2."

Mike and Lisa and new baby.
Mike and Lisa were great hosts, and we spent the 4th of July at a family BBQ. Of course it wasn't over 'til I did a little magic. Then one of the little girls told me that she knew a trick. Of course it was one with 21 cards. (An inside joke for magicians) You see almost everyone in the world that "knows a trick" wants to show you the 21 card trick. So much so that my friend, magician, Jon Racherbaumer, (from an earlier posting) wrote a book dedicated to what to do when someone brings up the 21 card trick,  which is available at H&R Magic Books.

Louie, Louie, Louie, Louieeee
I had a wonderful time and I usually wouldn't complain about anything, but I think this is worth a mention. You see, their dog, Louie, must have had one too many sausages at the BBQ. Seems that he is "sausage intolerant." That dog passed gas sitting next to me that made my eyes water. I had no idea such a cute little guy could be so powerful. I think that Louie would be a great weapon of war because he seems to be filled with deadly gas. However I do believe that I need to switch gears and write about magic, since farting dogs really have nothing to do with magic at all. Unless you need to make an audience vanish, in which case Louie would be a great addition to the show.  Okay back to magic.


I had no idea where I'd meet a magician in San Francisco to interview. But, as fate would have it, when I got there Mike told me that right around their house lies a little magic shop. One of the last of a dieing breed. Most Magic shops have pretty much disappeared from existence because of competition with the online magic sites. But there are still a few spread around the country and this one is called, Misdirections Magic Shop. I thought that I had found my magic connection for San Francisco, as I hadn't really booked a magician to talk to and just  figured that the magic universe would somehow provide one for me. Now I could just walk around the corner and talk to the proprietor about the vanishing magic shops around the country and once again, the death of magic.


But I found that magic was indeed dead. At least July 3rd through 5th, as the shop was closed for the holiday. So much for my theory that the universe was going to provide everything so easily. I decided that I'd have to go down to Fisherman's Wharf and see if I could find a magician working the street. If not then San Francisco could end up being a total bust.
I found a place to park and wandered the streets for a while searching for someone doing magic. Instead I saw and smelled amazing sea food. My search was looking somewhat bleak, as I wanted to get on the road before 3:00 in the afternoon so I would make it to Reno before night fall. I was beginning to think my San Francisco search was a bust, however, it was a beautiful day down at Fisherman's Wharf and I so I stopped in the oldest seafood restaurant in San Fran. It established in 1925, a place called Alioto's, and at least the food was magical. Of course when you are in San Francisco, at the Fisherman's Wharf, there are two things which I believe you should eat. First and foremost, Crab in garlic butter dip and you have to absolutely have some clam chowder. And this is exactly what I did before I continued my search for the elusive San Francisco magician.A delicious meal and I was once more invigorated to find a magician.

Then I saw someone that I just new would point me in the right direction. It was as if the very gold of the gold rush had come to life to show me the way. There he was a shining pedestal of gold. Of course I gave him a dollar and asked him if he knew where I could find a magician performing. "Sure," he replied, "Just go on down to pier 39, you'll find one there." Just as the forty-niners before me I had struck gold.

When I got to pier 39 life was once again shouting, "MAGIC!!" at me. There was a magic shop on location, a theater showing a magician three nights a week, and as I wondered to the back of the pier area, there was the prize, a real live magician performing. His name was ""BIG AL CATRAZ." 

.... next time we talk to Big Al about the death of magic.



Monday, July 9, 2012

Movies, Music, and The Death of Magic

Movies are but an illusion of captured light, still images which create movement due to a trick of the eye and confusion of the brain. Of course it would make sense that one of the earliest movie makers was himself an illusionist. French stage magician, Georges Melies. Melies was not only one of the first feature film creators, he was the first to use "trick" photography in his movies. His very first film was called "Playing Cards" and his first production company was named "Star Film Company." This information is coming to you from a guy who received his magician name, "Ace Star" in this very place, Southern California performing card tricks at Six Flags Magic Mountain.

Magician/Musician/Movie Mogul
My visit to Southern California didn't include a trip to Hollywood, a place where I've ventured many times in my life. But Southern California includes many magical places. I was on a mission to find a magician whom I'd known for many years. His name is Tony Maclaren.  He invited me over to his home in Chatsworth, California, a different kind of movie making capital. (for a laugh, look it up.) OK I won't make you look it up. It's the porn capital of the world. So naturally when this old magician/rockstar friend of mine tells me he's making movies and living in Chatsworth, naturally, I have to wonder to myself. (Then he tells me that he may even have a part for me.) Of course as I drove to his home, letting Nelly, my navigation system lead the way, my mind wandered, exploring the possibilities of the magic this interview might conjure up. LOL!!!

However, I was relieved (slightly disappointed) to discover that he is making a feature film called THE FROZEN TUNDRA, which he described to me during our visit. The story is one of a neurotic guy who fears life, who has a sudden journey almost forced upon him and has to learn to deal with his on phobias. (Wow come to think of it, this is sounding familiar)

Tony Maclaren is one of those rare breed of individuals who is extremely blessed with multiple talents. I've found that many magicians are talented musicians as well and have a knack for writing songs. He is very bright and creative beyond belief. He has been a professional guitarist, and an accomplished song writer, as well as a talented conjurer. As a young boy he was a guitar prodigy, and if you ever hear him play, he'll blow you away. If and when I get to interview him on video we are going to get him to play a little guitar for us too.

As most magicians are, Tony was bitten by the magic bug at an early age and began performing magic when he was only 6 years old. I met Tony when he was a working pro magician in Southern California which he has done for quite a few years. So when he told me that he had finally given up on magic to produce, write and direct movies, I was quite taken aback. The fact that this life long magician would now leave his life's work, was one of the most surprising things I've heard during this amazing journey. Then when he told me why, I was even more astounded and I admit somewhat depressed. You see he told me, "Magic is dead."

From a guy who has been in the magic business for more years than me, that was a seriously depressing remark. What another of my interviews, Jon Racherbaumer, had mentioned was that he believed was a change in  the culture of magic, was now coming out of Tony's mouth as "the death of magic." And after listening to his rational, I was almost ready to agree with him. IS MAGIC DEAD????

For you, the non-magicians, things may appear to be the same. But to the working professional, the world of magic has changed dramatically. When Tony began magic, it was an art which had to be studied and almost revered in order for one to participate in it's realm. Now with the world of Internet, cable TV, and YouTube, the world of magic has been turned upside down. Today anyone with a cellphone can immediately go online and search for the trick which they have just seen performed. And usually they will discover that its secret is readily available for a simple click. Why are kids who learn a trick these days so quick to jump on the Internet and reveal the secret? I'm not sure what they derive from it? Is it is an ego boost for them or something. But they are doing this over and over. Here, I'm going to give you an example:


This is a simple trick and I'm not certainly on  to reveal tricks, so it pains me to even put this on the blog. But this is a well known trick that was easy to master once the secret was known. However, it is so sad to me that some kid goes to all the trouble to put the very secret to a trick he didn't create, and probably learned by watching a video like this in order to somehow gain recognition he so craves.

A long time ago I decided not to put my own magic on the Internet. Years ago, I invented a couple of sleights which were very magical and back then I decided to put them on YouTube. It was a matter of hours and the postings began about how to possibly do the trick, as if I was looking for them to solve a puzzle. So I quickly took them off. It wasn't that the posters had even figured out what I was doing, but that for some reason, they saw my video as a challenge to come up with and post the solution, which of course it wasn't at all. I just wanted to share the magic feeling that they should derive out of seeing the impossible accomplished.  If magic is performed as a challenge to the audience then it's true magic is lost.

When I asked Tony if he'd perform something original to me to video tape for the blog, he politely said no. Without considering my own policy, I'd asked him to do that very thing I was against. He told me that their was no point to putting things on the Internet for others to run over and over again, in order to discover its secret. "For what purpose?" he asked, "so they could then post the secret to show how smart they are?" He told me in his last days of being a working professional magician that he would quit whenever he saw someone recording him with a phone. Is this what magic has come to?

If it's not the YouTube wanna be magicians aren't enough to make one think that magic is over, working magicians have another real problem. He is that guy who calls himself, THE MASKED MAGICIAN. We all know him, and quite frankly he disgusts me.

Sawing a lady illusion I built by hand.
I'll tell you why. Many magicians are making a living doing small shows, trade shows, even birthday parties. These guys don't have a nine to five with health insurance, and for the most of them, they don't make a lot of money. So to improve the show, a guy like me will build or buy a small illusion, such as sawing a lady in half. Time money and effort go into making this a valuable part of the show. An illusion like that may cost him $5000 or even more. For most of us, that is a major investment. But, once the masked magician puts how to do it on his show, that illusion is nothing more than a box with a couple of mirrors. Kids who used to stare wide eyed in amazement now yell, "I know that one! It's a mirror! Right there, look everyone he's a fake!!"

For another magician to reveal the secrets of magic to kids, is the equivalent of running through a toy store at Christmas time and yelling, "Santa isn't real! He's your parents! Don't fall for it kids, your parents put that stuff under the tree."  What is the point of taking that magical feeling away from them. For any of you who are a parent, please don't take that magic away. Let them discover the magic in life.